Sometimes, I feel so undeserving of all the wonderful things that happen to me. Even though my family may not be the most monetarily wealthy family in existence, I feel so lucky to have such good people as parents. My parents don't buy me everything I want to make me feel loved. Instead, they care for me by always trying to be a part of my life, even when I try to keep them out. I love my parents. I think they are the two people who will unconditionally love me beyond reason and comprehension. They genuinely want the best for me. I love how they want me to pursue something I love rather than something that is simply lucrative. My dad was really cute yesterday. He was telling me about how much he would miss me when I leave for college. I'll miss him too, as much as I don't like to admit. I'll miss my parents - the two people who have "restricted" me so much but only because they love me and want to protect me. I know sometimes I think they protect me too much, but at the very least, I feel so loved.

Sometimes though, I wonder why I'm so lucky. It's not like I WANT bad things to happen to me... but I have just been very blessed lately. I don't think people can understand how undeserving and ashamed I feel at times. It's a horrible feeling to have things going so right for you... when you have done nothing to deserve it. I'm still trying to understand... is it fate or is it God?

I don't know... I don't even know if I should be posting this.

"You loved me because I was fragile, when I thought I was strong." Grace is beautiful. Unmerited love is beautiful. Life is beautiful. People are beautiful... I just feel the urge to love on people, to accept people for their perfect imperfections, to come to terms with past mistakes, and to really appreciate people. It's difficult to explain I guess.