What I learned in 2009:

1. Over this winter break, I have looked through pretty much every single blog post I ever typed out.
The funny thing is, the BIG problems that I wrote about, the anonymous letters I wrote to people, the things that I thought were such a big deal at the time... I couldn't even remember some of the things I wrote about.
I mean, yeah, I do remember some stuff... but definitely not as much as I thought I would.


In the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?
What are the kind of things that will really matter a week from now? A month? A year? 10 years? 50 years? I don't know, I'm just saying that sometimes, I think we get so caught up in our own lives that we don't take the time to really acknowledge the pain of other people around us.
I know that I am probably one of the worst worriers I know, but I'm trying to change that. :)


2. I used to think that being "smart" was everything. What does that even mean? What does it really matter if you can understand things quicker? I think I've come to the realization that whatever label you put on people, they will never cease to amaze you with the new ways that they will refute the beliefs you held about them. I used to be so sure of who I thought people were, but I can't really say the same anymore. And the same applies to myself. Anyways, I guess "smart" is so subjective because what if you are academically "smart" that doesn't really mean that you're going to be successful... at all.

I guess for a long time, I've tried to blame all of my failures on the fact that I'm just not as naturally "smart" as the people around me. Well... this year, I've learned that I can really blame anything I want, my "not smart brain", a bad day, a chipped toenail, nasty weather, a phone call that was too long, etc... but it really comes down to me and how hard I'm willing to work. It's so much easier to have everything just float my way... but that's not really how life is. I've always been jealous of people who I thought had everything just go their way for them, but I don't think I realize all the work that goes on behind the stage.

3. Motivation.

The drive to stretch myself further. The expectations I set for myself that can be considered "impossible". But who really knows what's impossible?


Sometimes, it's been difficult to let people into my life because of my own independence. Sometimes, I just hate telling people about what wasn't right about my day. The thing is, I know there are people who care and I'm sorry if I've ever pushed you away when you know I wasn't okay. I'm sorry for saying "I'm fine, I'm okay" when you really knew I wasn't. Thanks for understanding, listening, being there.

4. Showing appreciation is seldom done enough. Somehow, it seems that I only realize what's really great about a person when it's too late. I've got my mental tabs on you guys though... there's always something that I find I like about someone, that one special quality that makes you, you.

5. My parents are probably the two biggest supporters of me. As much as they can get on my nerves sometimes, I love them. In the end, they always want the best for me. They only want the best for their daughter - letting me balance work and play, giving me rides to pretty much anywhere, encouraging me to try, making the foods I crave, and saving my favorite parts of ggakdugi for me.

6. Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

7. I am allergic to cats. Or maybe just Karina's. Since my eye became very itchy/swollen as did the rest of my face when I played with it too much yesterday. ): SIIIGH. IT WAS SOOO CUUUTE THOUGH!



I'm too lazy to continue this... boo hoo.
Well, let's hope 2010 is even better! :)