Flashbacks.

Remember those days of your childhood where you didn't have to worry about anything?
The days that you would go to the park with your parents and pretend to make them food in little wooden houses - Mommy barely squeezing in?
The days that you would walk all the way up a hill just to roll down?
The days that the scariest moment of your life was trying to make the next step up on the playground?
The days that you could just cry, "Mommy!" and know that Mommy would be there to rescue you when you got stuck?
The days that Mommy told you that "The word 'can't' is not part of your vocabulary?"
The days that "future" meant the next day, not a year from now?
The days that your parents were your favorite people to hang out with?
The days that you didn't have to worry about anything because you were so focused on living in the present?



Yesterday was probably one of the most nostalgic days I've had in my life.
To make a long story short, I was supposed to go the mountains with my family, and I didn't. What happened in between is just too long to really write in this post.
I was home alone, and I didn't want to waste my day by just staying home because this was supposed to be a fun weekend so I decided to take the afternoon for myself.
I walked to a local park that I used to go to all the time with my family when I was a little kid.
I brought my camera (hoping for some artistic inspiration) and my cell phone (for safety reasons alone... in case I got attacked by some scary people at the park.)
And that's allll.
I didn't even bring my iPod because I was trying to just get rid of all my pent up frustration and hopelessness.
It's weird because how much of the time, when we're walking, do we just automatically slip headphones into our ears, blocking out nature's natural music?
Idk, sounds cheesy, but it's really true.

At the park, I walked up the hill that I used to tumble down and sat down right at the top.
I took some shots, but mehhh, kinda boring so I ended up laying down on my back in the warm afternoon sunshine and.... fell asleep. HAHAHAHA, like a hobo, I know.
Which was really not smart considering I had my camera with me and it could have been stolen... but whatever, there were only little kids and families around, so I wasn't too worried.

I don't know, in a way, I feel that yesterday's experience was really good for me.
Just watching little kids play on the playground made me think back to all my childhood memories... and the days where I couldn't wait to grow up, and have a really cool boyfriend who could drive and take me out on dates, because yaknow, OBVIOUSLY I'd have enough time for that in my dream. I always thought my life would be so fun when I turned 16, the golden age of freedom and happiness. I always thought that I'd have a really fun job and be able to go to the beach everyday during the summer.
I guess I didn't anticipate SAT, school, grades, college, APs, and parents who put my future above having fun everyday.
MOVIES LIE. I always had these great expectations about being a teenager in high school because of all those movies that glorified high school and the fun you have.
It's okay though, maybe it's just Troy, but I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, honestly.


I guess my point is that sometimes, it's good to just slow down and look back at not where you're going, but where you started from.
And walking is therapeutic. I walked around the park and discovered this huuuuge expanse of grass that made me really happy... idk, I can't explain it without sounding like a total idiot, but I want to go back and just have a picnic there, it's so lovely.

Enjoy the simple things.